Wednesday, July 16, 2008


I’ve decided to write down the random thoughts that pop into my brain during the day. It’s something that I have no control over and these musings manage to either spawn from an earlier thought or come out of the blue.

1. A suicide pact is needed to stop the downward spiral of what is going on in Alberta. Our lives are just little grains of sand in the big picture. Perhaps we can do more in our death than what will do with our lives. Protesting, pleading for change and personal change is getting us nowhere. It results in frustration and an empty void feeling that nothing can be [and will be] done. This problem is bigger than us and we have no control of our future –

2. The word vocation should never be mixed up with the word job. I am working a job which is in no way related to what I want to do in life. Is this responsible or is it irresponsible to not follow your heart and start choosing your path? I need to win the lottery.

3. The past has weird ways of creeping up on you. Just when you’ve thought that you’ve gotten over an event, a person, or a period in time where you felt dangerously low something triggers these thoughts in your brain and you’re swept back to those dark days. I believe that hypnotherapy may be my only answer to this problem as I’ve tried everything else.

4. I feel guilty when I eat meat. Although ~90% of my meals are vegetarian, the ones where the protein is the flesh from another animal – well, I feel uncontrollably sad.

5. Tanning is bad for you. But so good for me.

6. I would marry Mike over and over again, in a heartbeat. I’m very fortunate to have found my equal who is on a path which converges, rather than diverges, with mine. This is why we make sense.

7. Being a girl is difficult. Although I’m sure that men have body perception issues, girls are more susceptible to the harshness of the world around them. Diet, work-out, eat this, don’t eat that – I’m tired of it all! However, there is always a lingering thought in the backburner of my brain of what I should do to get from Point A to Point B with my body issues. At the moment, I’m doing a cleanse to shed ‘internal weight’. I guess that is the best place to start.

As you can see, I think a lot. I truly believe that I am my own worst enemy and can concoct a terribly realistic good/bad/ugly situation in my head which will linger throughout the remainder of the day.

Is help on the way?

1 comment:

LaDitsterNo1 said...

You seem to have created your own help, good for you, not waiting for it to find you.