Monday, June 30, 2008

stop it

It's happening already. I've been working at my job for just under a month now and almost on a daily basis (well, whenever I interact with someone whom I haven't seen in a bit) I get it:

You're doing what? Aren't you an engineer?
The lack of support (or silent judgement) from many of those around me is ringing loudly. I've sold myself short. What am I doing? What about the money? What about getting into environmental engineering? You're working with a mining company?
I started looking for jobs last Autumn with the foresight of knowing that it would be difficult to find a job in Vancouver; especially in my field. I had to stay in Vancouver (Mike is here) and selling my soul to work in the Oil Sands was never an option. Here I am, about 8 months later, working as an Administrative Assistant for a mining consulting company (Are you happy now? One of my responsibilities is to empty the frikkin' dishwasher). After trying tirelessly to find the 'right' choice of employment and after being rejected time and time again, I settled for a position which I am good at and enjoy. The plus is that within the next year, there is possibility of me moving up to a Metallurgial Engineering position. Is this what I wanted? It's a start I suppose. I understand that I'm on the bottom of the preverbial totem-pole and it's a long way up.
Rejection is a funny thing. I hear it's supposed to make you stronger; thicken the skin. Rejection beat the piss out of me. It weaked me and made me a very sad bunny. Rejection combined with a dwindling amount of money in my bank account meant that I had to do something. Perhaps make a grown-up decision and a decision to be happy for the time being. However your lack of support (said generally speaking, I know those who are happy for me) has made me second guess my decision. So please, just stop it. I can't handle the sad looks at the poor girl who is 'wasting her life away'.

1 comment:

Amy said...

Considering the benefits you get, the fact that you like your job, the fact that you have a solid opportunity to get an engineering position, and the fact that you can travel to Australia for work, I wouldn't say you've settled or sold yourself short of anything.